Thursday, April 26, 2007

North & South

HM Cover, colored by my good friend Andrew Wilson.

Georgia On My Mind

Dear Diary:

I spent last weekend at the Atlanta Comics Expo, a very peculiar show I must say. I had never heard of this event (with good reason, this was their first show) but I 've always wanted to visit Atlanta and since I was invited, I decided to go.

The convention was small but cozy. Well, maybe too cozy. The organizers were very nice and helpful, the place was clean and well lit. I usually don't care much for conventions that are held in hotels and this one was no exception. Upstairs from us there were having an international dance contest and one level above it there was a prom going on, or rather, several proms, I prefer convention centers, thank you very much.

I thought the attendance was pretty poor, lack of advertising or just plain indiference, take your pick. Oh, and surprise! the people attending the show were mostly super hero comic book freaks, rolling their plastic coolers all over that nice corporate carpet.

Diary, I know you've told me several times not to stare at people for extended periods of time but I couldn't help myself, Atlantans love to dress up, before I left, Jana said: "Watch out for the weirdos" and I didn't know what she meant, Lotsa girls in tight costumes prancing around, fat spidermen and all sorts of gay caballeros wearing their underwear on the outside, just like in those creepy Alex Ross' drawn (and painted) comics. That's what she meant! Pretty nasty shit but the women were something else. Southern girls love to flaunt it, even though they swear they are shy and proper. They really are very generous to say the least, I don't know what they eat down there or what kind of hormonal chemicals they dump in the water reservoir but they're all "healthy" females. God bless the South!

I stayed at The Francavillas, Francesco, his lovely bride and their 3 cats showed me what real southern hospitality is all about. I had a chance to check out the city and its surroundings, at times I felt I was in a time tunnel. On prom night I saw a divided city, there were black proms and white proms but I didn't see any integrated proms, maybe I was in the wrong side of town.

Plenty of affluence, new luxurious houses everywhere. The land is cheap, of course, I wasn't surprised to hear those new home prices were pretty low.To be fair, compared to New York everything else is inexpensive. With the same money I paid for my house I could have gotten a castle down there, the thing is who wants to live there?. . . . Exactly!
The good ol' South is still not integrated enough for my taste, it looks too much like Hoboken, NJ —after they kicked the puertoricans out of town— I still prefer Toronto. Mexicans of course, have their own area, which looks like shit and is adyacent to the upscale neighborhoods they serve. This is not exclusive to the conservative South, I've seen the same thing in "progressive" California and in "liberal" NY.

When I used to live in Tustin, CA I worked in Santa Ana, that was kinda odd because things generally were the other way 'round. Santa Ana used to be a shithole where they dumped all the Mexicans who worked in Tustin (a right-wing, ultra conservative town without porn and with a curfew). I said "used to" because I haven't lived there in 15 years. Late Saturday and Sunday nights you would find scores of rich white kids from the gated communities of Orange, Anaheim Hills and Tustin and even Fullerton, buying cheap crack and other cocaine derivatives from the local "Cholos" behind the Bristol swap meet.

I worked delivering pizzas for "Me & Ed's" back then and I recall asking Glenn the manager: "Why is the map partially covered with red Magic Marker™?" he said: "We just don't go there!", "but we're two blocks away!" "Damn it, man! What part of We Just Don't Go There, don't you understand!" I was instructed to tell the people from Townsend Street to come and pick up their pizzas at the restaurant, "Sorry, Ma'am, we just don't fuckin' go there, understand?"

Whenever any of the drivers got the munchies we would write up a fictitious order from Townsend. We would cover an entire extra large pizza with jalapeño peppers and mushrooms (this trick would render the pizza unsellable) and place it on top of the oven, 30 minutes later the manager would say: "There's an old order from Townsend up there, anybody hungry?" The silent rules were simple: if it's up there for longer than 30 minutes, it's fair game.

Back to our lying already in progress: On Friday night we had dinner at the legendary Trader Vick's, the most beautiful Tiki bar on the western hemisphere. There I met some talented individuals such as Tyson McAdoo, Dave Cook and Derek Yaniger, had a nice chat with a nice man named Bob Shrek (no relation to the Ogre in that unwatchable piece of 3-D horse shit) whom I learned later, was a big-shot editor at one of the two Comics giants, I forgot which one.

I'm going to give this convention a free pass this time around because the show is new but you're on notice, Atlanta Comics Expo! I doubt I'll be back, though. That's too bad because I really got used to the Southern Belles exhuberant proportions and the way they walk and talk. "Ya'll come back ya hear?" . . . Not me.

The Province of Alberto
Diary dearest, can you believe it has been a year already since my first visit to the fine city of Calgary?, I miss it very much, particularly those Flamer girls.

Last year when I arrived at Calgary, I saw a 20 ft high sign near the airport, that read: "WELCOME TO CALGARY, ALBERTO"
Having been blessed with a Texas-size ego, I naturally assumed the giant sign was for me; I immediately thought: "Wow! What a country this Canada eh? I've never been here before and they already treat me like a war hero" Somebody ought to let them know they made a mistake,though, my name ends in "O" not in "A". Great people up there but horrible spellers! Silly Canadians, gotta love 'em!

I will be attending the Calgary Comics and Entertainment Expo at the Stampede Grounds (I think) I just can't wait to get there, Calgary is without a doubt one of my favorite places in the world!

I'll see you there this coming Sunday! God bless the North!



SalBa said...

Bueno, ¿que voy a decir que no se vea simple vista? Está muy bonita aunque la verdad es que me molaba más la primera versión (la del post nterior) aunque esta también despierta mi envidia.

PD: Feliciadaes tambien a Andrew Wilson por el color

andrew said...

That is AWSOME! i can't wait until this hits our shelves in say. oh i dunno next year ;3

RedRooster said...

You lived in Tustin?
Santa Ana; their is nothing worse than a Mexican "I know haw" girl from orange county. I find the ones in So. Central LA to be a bit more humble....
-Red Rooster

timothee de place said...

Sexy! I especially like the bubblegum flavered hair. I'm getting that HM issue for sure.

forest_eaton said...

Usually, I love my job.

But sometimes, when my job requires I attend a seminar on the weekend rather than drive out to Calgary to check out the expo, I don't like my job so much. Sorry I'm not gonna be able to make it this year Alberto.

Oh, and where is this big announcement you were telling me about? One of the new books?

Anyways, have a good time in Cow Town


hey alberto,

take some awesome photos like last time

maybe you'll find some hilarious signs again

wcr1 said...

Man, you do have an outsize ego! That sign in Calgary was meant for Señor Gonzales. The DNC put it up, I think.

Sorry to hear Atlanta was a letdown. I know things look pretty archaic there, but I can tell you, as a transplanted Southerner, that they're a million times better than they used to be. Things change slowly, but they do change.

(It's y'all, not ya'll.)

I haven't been able to post until just now, so let me be among the first 5000 to congratulate you on your publishing venture. Buena suerte!

Even so, can't believe you gave up Tustin for NY...


RoB said...

WOW!~ That is super sexy! Great job on the colors, I love it! Awesome job!


&Rew said...



nice piece dr. of draw, see you at the expo.


Tanya said...

Haha, this is the awkward Chinese girl you gave Tostitos to. Thanks for that, dude! And hope you had fun here in Cowtown.

FerdinandKreozot said...

Fucking hell!
man this is all amazingly awesome.
This piece is beautifully drawn, but the colors make me just want to eat it!
I am partially colorblind and yet, these colors tickle my eyes just the right way :)
Awesome combo you two make :)

Cheers to your skill and all the best with your venture, may heaps of health happiness and success come your way!

Kind regards,


Meetch said...

Not only is your work great, but you're an awesome storyteller to boot!



He he he, spidermans orondos, caballeros gays en mallas y mujeres pechugonas...tio eso es el paraiso.

Explicación: Todas esas pechugas se fijarán en el menos "rarito" supongo.
Es una gran oportunidad para no llevar puesto mi disfraz de se.
Parece que no te gustó mucho aquello, aquí con suerte, algún día me acercaré a ver el salon del comic en Barcelona....quien sabe.

Por cierto Alberto, te pasé un correo con el jpg para lo de EYE CANDY, lo recibiste? Ultimamente estoy teniendo problemillas con el correo, solo quería saber si lo habías recibido.

Un saludo!

( =_=)/

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you got sand in your vagina down here in the dirty south...guess we're just not cultured nor "diverse" enough for ya...way to stereotype, based on your dismal (and extremely limited) experience...that's like me saying you self publish because you don't have the chops to cut it with a decent publisher, cause you only draw half-assed titty girls