Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Red Sheep Nation Retardation

Just got back from Boston on Monday night, if you haven't visited Beantown I strongly suggest you do so soon, this is a gorgeous city, I mean, the downtown area and the "blue blood" streets, because that's pretty much what I saw. Great architecture, incredible food; it has everything one would want in a major city, plenty of historical places to visit, as well as museums and other types of recreation.

Wizard World Boston was OK, the place is certainly small but a lot of people showed up, I had a great time hanging with my friends from the Drawing Board. Mike Feeny was kind enough to bring a Corona bottle and a bag of Tostitos with a hint of lime. Thanks Mikey!!

Saturday was the busiest day, I think the baseball games might have influenced the poor turnout on Sunday, scheduling the Con directly against Red Sox vs. Yankees was a big mistake in my opinion. The place reminded me a bit of both, Baltmore and Philly; quite frankly, once you've seen one convention, you've seen them all, I felt I was trapped in "groundhog day", deja-vu all over again, it was a lot of fun, though.

On Friday night, after Wizard World, my compadres and your narrator took the Boston subway from the Bayside Convention Center in Columbia Heights near U-Mass, a few stops into the heart of the city, security was tight as the Yankees were in town for the 3 most crucial games of the entire season, Bostonians are very passionate about the Red Sox (their local baseball team) everyone seemed to be wearing Red Sox licensed apparel, the Boston police was everywhere, it reminded me a lot, of the times when Bush decides to visit New York City, there were more cops than civilians, the traffic was a mess, all in all, a surreal scene to say the least.

Before I boarded the subway train, my friend Wes warned me about the "Red Sox Nation", (the name the media has given the Boston fans), he said, something to the effect of "Don't mention the Yankees in public unless you're looking for a severe beating".

The subway is a real treat, very cute trains resembling old trolleys, clean cars and stations (at least cleaner than the NYC MTA's trains) Once inside the train I realized what Wes meant, my friend Kano and I started joking about the Yankees and the Sox and everytime I uttered the words "New York" everyone within the sound of my voice turned and gave me the dirtiest looks imaginable.

I couldn't believe it! the words "New York" sending otherwise ordinary, law abiding citizens, into a frenzy. Relax Yo! it's only a motherfuckin' game!.

I don't know whose bright idea was to put a baseball stadium in the middle of downtown Boston, or maybe it wasn't downtown, but it sure felt like it. The hordes of sports fanatics swarmed the Fenway area like a locust plague.
We were just looking for a place to eat and got caught in the madness that is Yankees vs. Red Sox, quite possibly the most bitter rivalry in american professional sports, dating back to the beginning of the twentieth century or longer.

The Boston fans are vehement, devoted, passionate and irrational, I can only compare them to third world soccer fanatics. All common sense and logic has been surrendered to a bunch of millionaire troglodytes tossing a stupid ball back and forth. Back at the hotel on Saturday (the day the Red Sox lost 8-4) I turned on the TV to check the final score and even the local broadcasters had gone nuts, apparently the Yankees had won the division title but there were no pictures of them celebrating, at all. I had to switch to a national cable sports show to find out what was really going on, not that I care that much anyway, I just wanted to know why the mood was so somber. On Sunday, the Sox won the last game and made the play-offs, of course everyone was in a better mood. Channel surfing the following night, every other TV program was about the Red Sox, there was even a show called "Red Sox Nation Experience" or something similar, the premise was so lame, I had to watch: Fans of the ballclub, telling their own "unique Sox sightings and stories of how their lives changed (for the better) while rooting for this team, never have I watched such load of crap in my entire life, only Geraldo Rivera's opening Al Capone's Vaults was worst, but not by much.

A great chunk of the show was devoted to some jerk-off fanatic recounting the story of how he (while working at the airport) met Manny Ramirez (a great player but lousy human being), it turns out Manny needed to bolt right out of the airport and didn't want to wait for his limo so he asked this idiot to give him a ride to the hotel or something, " I couldn't believe it!! Manny was sitting right here, in my vehicle!!" " He farted on my leather seats and vomitted all over my floor mat, incredible!!!, I'll never wash this car again"

I always say the masses are stupid and have an overwhelming desire to worship the superficial, and here's more proof. The majority of Red Sox fans are so retarded, it's not even funny, Wes was right, these people love this team more than they love themselves, Kano and I clapped when the Yankees scored a run, inside Vinnie T's (a great italian restaurant ) the place, which was packed to capacity, went numb, a scary long silence took over. If looks could kill...!

Well, that's my report from Boston, back to you, Sue.



Mike Feeney said...

I was born here but never was into sports. So all my life, if the conversation turned to sports at a party of something, I would have to pretend that I was into sports or I would feel like the last man on earth in the Invasion of the body snatchers and be hunted down and converted. It is very weird that grown men and women would rather live vicariously through these sports players than to go out and do something themselves.
Me myself…I'd rather be in the club carousing with beautiful women ;)

Melminda said...

I guess there was truth in the movie "Fever Pitch", eh?

Process Junkie said...

MikeI just wish people would be just as passionate about more important issues, such as art, love and such.

Melinda I Haven't seen the movie, but if it's anything like what I wrote, then it may be worth checking out, I seriously doubt they were truthful because that would offend an entire state.


Vanoni! said...

I got a chuckle out of that one!

Though I'm sorry you had to suffer so much in order to entertain me so well.

– C

Process Junkie said...


Dik Pose said...

I am glad someone finally spoke out about the Red Sox and NY craziness...You are totally right, Red Sox suck, Yankees suck...ANGELS RULE!! BWWAAAHAHAHAHA!!! Sigh, Yes Senor Ruiz, I am a crazy baseball fan that takes it too far at times...I am sorry, but I love it! I cant help it...

Process Junkie said...

Go White Socks!....just kidding..just kidding!